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Had a freaky dream, so out of curiosity I searched for what it could possibly mean. I wasn't sure what to expect, but the results were interesting.

What do teeth falling out in a dream mean?

Teeth falling out in dreams symbolize change.
They indicate fear of losing something important.
For Freud, teeth falling out in dreams point to anxiety about sexual repression and the desire to be nurtured. This disturbing symbol also tends to show up in dreams during important moments of transition in the dreamer’s life.

Dream Psychology: Freud and Jung

The interpretation of teeth falling out in dreams has been widely covered in psychology. Freud associates this symbol to sexual references, such sexual repression or fear of castration for men.

Jung and many other contemporary dream interpreters have a wider perspective and focus their analysis on symbols of personal power and the ability to renew oneself. For instance, they prefer to talk about the representation of loss or the process of releasing the old to give place to the new, as opposed to focusing only on more Freudian sexual references.
About This Dream Interpretation Guide

Dream Study: Women More Susceptible to Dream About Teeth Falling Out?
Recent psychological research suggests that women are more likely to have dreams about teeth falling out than men are (Source: “Typical Dreams: Stability and Gender Difference”. Psychological Reports, 1984). Other common dream themes for women are enjoying eating good food, being locked up and failing a test.

Links Between Dreams About Teeth Falling Out and Depressive States
Recent findings in the field of dream interpretation research indicate that people who have recurring dreams about losing teeth or teeth falling out tend to be anxious and depressed. (Source: “The Loss of Teeth in Dreams: An Empirical Investigation”, Psychological Reports)

What To Do When You Have An Anxiety Dream?

Take a step back and re-frame the meaning of your dream: When you dream about your teeth falling out, don’t panic. Even though this kind of dream tends to fall in the category of most common nightmare, it is a sign that some important changes are in the works your life. On the positive side, it can be interpreted as an invitation to look at decisions you’ve made recently and assess whether they really fit your true needs and desires.

Focus on the positive dream meanings: Be reassured, despite its negative associations, your “bad dream” may have positive meanings: Following the Jungian dream analysis perspective, one may see in it a representation of opening up to something new in your life, becoming more aware of what you truly need to cultivate in yourself and to fulfill your ambitions and desires. Such a dream may also point to opportunities to resolve a challenging situation more assertively and positively.
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What an awesome weekend I just had! Well, it was all Sunday, but that one day was just so much fun that it MADE the weekend.

Neither Ria or I consider Valentine's Day a real holiday, but I wanted to do something nice anyway. Granted, I sure as hell don't NEED a day to remind me to show her how much I love her, but I used it as an excuse to be more extravagant without her saying I'm a crazy human being (although she's not wrong on that account).

Anyway, we met up at Ten Ren for some tea, then I asked her if she finally wanted try that vegetarian dim sum place that we've walked by a million times. I read a lot of good reviews about it while waiting for her, and I've been looking for places to go to that have either full of at least a reasonable amount of things to choose from since she's giving up meat (and I'm joining in on it with her, albeit at a much slower pace).

I have to say, the place, vegetarian or otherwise, had some of the best tasting food I've ever had. Absolutely everything was delicious. Hell, the mock pork in the noodle dish was so well done I couldn't believe it wasn't the real thing. The prices were great, the staff was extremely friendly, and the portions were HUGE. We both loved it and will definitely be going back. She even said it's her new favorite place, so I'm glad we chose to go there. We also had a conversation with a guy who was sitting at our table. He did look somewhat familiar, and he was very nice. I hope we see him again when we go back.

We had a lot of time left to kill, so we went to Kino for a few hours for some quick dessert and for her to find some pens and things for school.

After a bit of browsing, it was time to head to the theater! We got there early so we had to wait a bit, and when we finally got inside and saw our seats, I was extremely pleased. They were really great! As the time to the show drew closer, I got more and more excited. When it started, I was certainly not disappointed!

Everything about this show was great. The sets were lovely, the songs were super catchy, the choreography was amazing...everything was just top notch. Ria told me it was the best show she's ever seen, and it's only my first, so what in the world can top it? I've just been spoiled!

After the show I picked up the soundtrack and got her a shirt. I decided to take the train back with her before heading home since it was still pretty early, and I was having such a fantastic day that I really didn't want to leave her side.

Just to say too, I don't know what she's been doing, but damn, she has been looking so hot lately! Granted, I always think she looks great, but something about her the last few weeks just makes it impossible for me to take my eyes off her. I do like that she's been putting her hair up in a ponytail, but it's more than that. Whatever it is, she is looking so damn sexy and it just makes me want her all that much more, and makes me realize what a lucky man I am to have her as my girlfriend. Damn, I love this woman so much!
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Things have been pretty good lately. Work is work, and Ria has started classes again, so I know a lot of time will be spent with her studying and trying to catch up on sleep from work and endless nights of school work.

Valentine's Day is coming up and I got us tickets to Kinky Boots! I was worried I wouldn't be able to get any, but thankfully I got the last pair of seats that were next to each other. I know she loves her Broadway shows, and she wanted an experience instead of a material item, so this was just the perfect thing. This is my first ever Broadway show, so I'm excited. I've heard a lot of good things about it, and its won a lot of awards, so it should be awesome.

One thing I'm working on right now is making sure that I'm a better boyfriend. I know I listen and do my best to take care of her, but I know a lot of the stupid things I've done have led to some doubts. I fully understand based on the discussion we had about a week ago, and I did help put her at ease, but I want her to know that it's more than just words. I plan to show her how serious I am about it. People don't really change unless they make a committed effort and truly desire to (which 99% don't), and I really mean to make it happen.

We've already been through a lot as a couple, probably moreso than we should have in such a short period of time. The way I'm choosing to look at it though, is that the worst is already behind us. Looking back, I see not just what I need to do, but what I need to STOP doing as well.

What I will do: Listen, be encouraging, be appreciative of what she does, be better at making plans, give her space when needed, be respectful

What I'll stop doing: Being quick to anger and make stupid decisions, being presumptuous, being impatient

Every time when we say our goodbyes, as soon as she's out of my sight, the first thought in my mind is "I truly love this woman." I want there to be no doubt that I love her more than anything, that I will be here for her always, and that I don't want to be with anyone but her. It's time to not just say it, but prove it as well, and I fully intend to.
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Just...wow. Another X-rated entry.

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I almost did what I promised myself I never would. I almost made another huge mistake due to my stupidity and irrational decision making that occurs when I get upset. I almost lost the most important person in my life for no reason. After coming back here and reading the things I wrote about her, and thinking about all we spoke about over the last few weeks I feel even more embarrassed about what happened.

We already discussed it at length, so I don't feel the need to really repeat everything here. But I just remember over the course of the weekend we spent together how when I looked at her, as we spoke, as we did everything together, how lucky I am to be with her. In my head as we were there cuddled up next to each other, I thought "You idiot. You really were going to give her up? Give THIS up?"

Part of me was just paranoid, part of it was probably due to dealing with so many shitty relationships where I was given up on over nothing that I just got to the point where I give up too easily. She even pointed out that when we were just friends, I never gave up that easily. I treated her a lot better too. Another thing is I feel like I put too much pressure on myself since we have this label, and in turn I put unnecessary pressure on her too.

Truth be told, we don't have a lot of fights. After 8 months, we've only ever had 3, and none were honestly all that bad. It was at least never over anything stupid. But we worked things out, spoke it over, and it's been a lot better since we have found compromises we can both agree on.

She's always been the one who has helped me when I was feeling down. She's made me laugh, smile, cheered me up, and been there for me more than anyone else I know. She's shown me what love is. She's told me all kinds of things, and she knows a lot of my secrets that others don't. She's a truly one of a kind person who can never be replaced.

I know that I can never love anyone else the way I do her. She's the most amazing and beautiful person I've ever known in my life, and I will absolutely make sure to treat her the way she deserves. I don't ever want to know what it's like to be without her around. She's everything to me, and I swear to never forget it again.

I love you so much. Thank you for everything you have and will ever do for me.


Oct. 30th, 2013 10:21 am
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I've been pretty lucky in the fact that, for the most part, I've made pretty good decisions on who I call a friend. While I know a lot of people, not everyone I would give that classification to. Some seem to think everyone I know is a friend, but really, I have a lot of acquaintances.

Lately, I've kinda fallen back on who I really talk to. Right now, I keep mainly to Gene, Scott, and Ria. If I ever have anything I need to talk about, it's always one of them. Most everyone else I only see if there's a big hangout or something. I also understand that as we get older, we can't do what we used to. People are busy with school and work. I do kinda feel like I've somewhat drifted apart from most everyone but these 3 though.

There are a few people I wouldn't mind seeing a bit more. The few times I've hung out with Angie have been nice, though I know it's difficult for her since she lives so far and she is always trying to take care of her mother. I miss Adrienne quite a bit, but it's hard for her since her myasthenia gravis prevents her from moving a lot.

My friend Nikki from Texas is coming to New York for a week! She's coming in tomorrow and I can't wait to see her. It's been about 3 years since we last hung out, which was, well, the only time we ever actually hung out haha. Still, it'll be nice to hang out with her for a day or 2.

My head is spinning all over the place and I kinda lost focus, so I'll end it here. Off to another day of work.
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X rated entry. You have been warned.
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One thing (of many) that people never seem to understand is my relationship with my family. I know a lot of people are close and talk often, do the gatherings and whatnot, but that's never been my thing. In all honesty, I have relatives all over the place, most of whom I wouldn't know from a hole in the wall. I don't know their faces, let alone their names or even their relation to me. Truth be told, this doesn't bother me in the slightest.

I used to be a lot closer to my sister (I even lived with her for a few months), but now, we barely even speak. I try to text her ever now and then, but I rarely ever get a response, and the same seems to go for phone calls. If she does answer, I end up getting passed over to Jake, or they kinda talk over each other so the conversation gets really distracted and awkward. She'll call my Dad though, and he's always asking if I've spoken with her. The truth is, of everyone in the family, she's the one I WOULD want to talk to, but it seems like unless I'm asking her a question about something I want to get her, I get nothing. This is honestly the only relationship that bothers me.

My Mom...I don't even know anymore. I haven't spoken with her in about 3 months because the last time we saw each other, it led to a big fight. In general, we only spoke maybe once every month and half, not that I had a problem with her, but for me, if nothing is new and I have nothing to really say, I don't call. That's just the way I am and she doesn't understand that no matter how many times I explain it.

The problem started when she came over here to visit. I understand there was a death in the family, but the entire time we were together that first day, she was on the phone talking to people about what happened. I mean, I took the day off from work to be ignored the entire time? Really? Not to mention when she wasn't on the phone, all she did was complain about everything.

I didn't even want to go out a second time, but I decided to give it another shot since she was going back in another 2 days. Once again, problems arise. First off, she told me to get off somewhere, which I did, then she told me I was at the wrong spot. Okay, fine. Annoying, but I can deal. Then after that, she tells me she has some paperwork to do. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! You think I want to spend another day off waiting for you to do paperwork while I sit in the car with some guy I don't know?

I started texting Ria during this time and even my Mom's friend was like "What the hell are you doing sitting in this car on your day off? Just go and hang out with your girlfriend." So you know what? That's exactly what I did. A while later my Mom called me and asked where I was and why I left. I explained to her why I left and why I was upset, yet she didn't seem to think I made a valid point. She asked me to get off the train and come back, but I told her no way, I was already gone and in a bad mood, so any time we had together would just be me completely miserable and I didn't want any part of that. Since that day, we haven't spoken.

I'm sure I'll call her eventually, but I mean, come on. I can't believe after what I told her, she still insisted that I was wrong in being upset. I'm certain that damn near anybody else who was in my position would have reacted the same way. Oh well, what can you do? Just gotta give it some time.
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This is old news, but it's still been on mind and I just want to type it out.

A few weeks ago, my next door neighbor Willie died. I found this out after I came home from work, and I really just couldn't believe what I heard. Just the week before we were talking and joking about trading lunches, and the next minute, he's gone. It truly killed my mood.

The messed up part is that there are so many different stories going around about what happened to him. The first thing I heard was that he was stabbed, but then I also heard another story that he died of a drug overdose, while yet another story says he had a heart attack.

I outright refuse to believe he died of an overdose. This was a guy who was always naturally happy and energetic. At the most, I can see him possibly smoking some weed, but nothing more than that. As for the heart attack, I don't know. I never even knew the man to have so much as a cold, so while that is entirely possible, I'm not sure if that's what it was either.

What sucks the most is that I really believe this didn't have to happen. His mother decided to sell the house without his consent for next to nothing, so he was basically forced out and was in the process of finding somewhere to live. If she didn't do that, I honestly don't think he would have gone out that night and he'd still be here now.

I went with my father and grandmother to the wake, and we only stayed for a few minutes. It was just too depressing to be there and see him like that. It honestly looked like he was just sleeping, like he'd get up at any moment and ask why everyone was so sad.

It's been about 3 weeks or so since this happened, and yet I still can't believe it. I'm so used to seeing him when I come home from work and spending a half hour or more on the front steps just talking about whatever and having a good laugh. He was a very fun, caring person who always had a smile on his face. Some days I come home and just look to next door, expecting him to be there even though I know he's gone.

Will, I'm going to miss you. I hope you're at peace and I hope to see you again one day. Rest in peace my friend.

Miss You

Oct. 23rd, 2013 11:30 pm
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I haven't seen my girlfriend in almost 3 weeks. I miss her so much, but it looks like I'll finally be able to spend some time with her on Friday. I can't wait!

It hasn't been all bad. We still speak on the phone, though most of our communication is done by texting and tweeting. We've had a lot of really funny conversations and some deep ones as well. I like how we can start off on one thing and just take it anywhere on a whim. Not knowing where the conversation will end up is a big part of the fun.

Everyone at my job knows how much I love her too. Every time they see me on my phone they ask if it's her. If I'm not talking to her, I'm talking about her. The girls all think I'm sweet for caring about her so much, and all the dudes think I'm nuts for only wanting to be with her.

What can I say that I haven't already said a million times? I love being with her, and I never want to let her go. Saying goodbye is the absolute hardest thing in the world to do. It's just like how it used to be, only a hundred times stronger now.

Honey, I miss you, I love you, and I can't wait to cuddle up next to you and kiss your beautiful face over and over.


Oct. 23rd, 2013 11:12 pm
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Last week was my friend Sherry's birthday. Instead of the usual going to the house for cake deal, she decided to have a day out with friends eating at different places. This is right up my alley, so I was very happy to go.

I ended up being a bit late for a few reasons. First, I had to go to the doctor. I found out I have, of all things, a ragweed allergy, so I had to pick up some medicine for it. Secondly, after I got off the train, I wasn't exactly sure where to go, so I was walking around for about 15 minutes before I figured out where to go. Even after all that, I was only about 30 minutes late, so it wasn't nearly as bad as it could've been.

We went to Smorgasburg, which is basically a lot of food tents set up in a big lot. I didn't eat anything all day, so I ate at the first place I met everyone by. It was a lady selling sticky rice, so I got that (with mango!) with a ginger lemonade. I got it in a bamboo tube, which was an extra dollar, but I wanted to keep it because it looks nice. After that I had a turduken sandwich, which was easily the most amazing thing I ate all day. Afterwards was a chicken sandwich with apples, cranberry sauce and goat cheese, and then I ended with a smoothie. Everything was very delicious, and I definitely would like to go back to see what else is there next time.

We hung around the area for a bit before going to Flushing to an Asian BBQ place. The food was good and the sauces really brought out the best in the meats. I wasn't too crazy about a lot of the side dishes though. After that we hung out in Target until we all decided to go home. All in all, a good day.
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It was supposed to be a movie a day, but I knew that wasn't happening. With work and wanting to get out or sleep all day on my days off, it was inevitable I'd fall behind schedule. There's no real reason for it, but it is fun and it's in the spirit, so I've been watching horror/spooky themed stuff for Halloween. I know my final day will be Halloween 3 (which will become a yearly tradition since the movie kicks so much ass), but here's what I've watched so far:

1. Halloween
2. Halloween 2
3. Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers
4. Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers
5. Halloween 666: The Origin of Michael Myers (Producer's Cut)
6. Bubba Ho-Tep
7. Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers (Unrated Director's Cut)
8. Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers (Theatrical Cut)
9. Halloween H20
10. Halloween Resurrection
11. From Beyond
12. The Town That Dreaded Sundown
13. Hellroller
14. Freddy vs Jason
15. Friday the 13th (2009)
16. Blood Runs Cold

I've been trying to spend a little more time with my Dad lately. I love him very much, but sometimes it's hard to connect because while there are a lot of similarities in things we enjoy, personality wise we're very different.

One easy way to spend time is the driving lessons. He's not exactly the most patient person in the world, but he has been surprisingly lenient and calm in dealing with me for the past few weeks. I was abysmal when I started, but I've gotten a decent amount of things down pretty well. Once we finish up the lessons we go to the flea market. I always browse through the movies looking for movies, mainly VHS', while he looks for cds, toys or spare parts for things around the house. We usually get some food and crack jokes about some of the ridiculous things we end up seeing.

Other than that though, we don't really do much. Occasionally we might have a short conversation about something, but that's about it. He doesn't exactly enjoy going out, which of course I do. He'd rather stay home and watch sports (which I don't enjoy). I kinda miss the times when we used to watch t.v. shows and movies together. Does this sound lame? Maybe, but I don't really care.

One of our biggest differences is our attitudes towards relationships. When I say that, I mean any kind, be it romantic or with friends. His thing is more about what he can get from someone, while I tend to be more about who I enjoy being around.

Throughout my life, he's always said that I was too nice and do too much for others. Not to say that this hasn't led to me being taken advantage of a few times, but in the end, I really don't know how else to be. For me, if I do someone a favor, as long as the person is appreciative, then I'm fine with that. Him on the other hand, he pretty much DEMANDS a favor back. Whereas I enjoy spending time with my girlfriend, he seems to think it's a chore. I do nice things for her because I want to, he does it...well, you get the idea.

I find it funny how he's told me not to say "I love you." Ha! I've been telling Ria that for years, even when we were just friends. I meant it as much then as I mean it now. He seems to think my love and kindness is a bad thing or a weakness, but I definitely don't. I know he doesn't tell me these things to be a jerk, but this is just something we will never see eye to eye on. Oh well, in the end, I know he loves me and I'm grateful for all the help he's given me. Now, I just gotta get in more driving time...
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See more on Know Your Meme

LOOK AT THAT SEXY SUMBITCH. LOOK AT IT! Sorry, I don't know what came over me.

So yes, AoT obsession continues. Thanks to Ria's friend Neo, we know that they're making replica Survey Corps Maneuver Gear. Where the hell I would put it, what I would actually do with it, I have no idea. Yet for some reason, I am obsessed to the point where I can say I want it.

Normally, I am absolute shit at saving money. I'll get paid, find some stuff I want, and splurge. Rinse and repeat until I'm wondering where all my money went. HOWEVER, if I find there is something I want, I'm very good at saving up for it. In this instance, what I want is this replica.

In the grand scheme of things, I don't actually see myself owning this. It doesn't come out until next year, but I see it being way outside of anything I could afford or even be willing to pay. Just thinking about it though, will be incentive for me to put away some cash. If nothing else, it helps me save up to buy a few people some Christmas gifts, which is also a nice thing to do.

Now that I think about it though, one thing I really would like to save up for that would be a great incentive, is a real vacation. One to some place I've never been. I know me and Ria have discussed it plenty of times, and now that we are officially together, that idea sounds better than ever. It might be a bit difficult to plan, but if we can figure out a way (and of course we will), it'll be truly amazing. Going away for a while with the person I love the most? Now THAT is motivation!


Oct. 20th, 2013 05:13 am
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A few weeks ago Ria came by for one of our old style sleepovers, and it was quite possibly the best weekend I've ever had in my life. In the middle of the second day, we picked up Stevie and brought him back to the house. We were eating doughnuts and decided what Halloween film to watch, when he said something that I will never forget. I don't remember the exact statement, but I do know it ended with "That makes you family." I don't think I really reacted to the statement in that exact moment, but it did hit me and really sank in the more I thought about it. I didn't expect to hear that at all, but...I have to say it really made me feel good. I mean, me and Stevie were always cool, but hearing him say that was...I can't even think of the proper words for it. I told Ria about this and she just said "Well, yeah, you are." You couldn't wipe the smile off my face for a week after that.

I still think about that moment from time to time now. Really, I love the fact that I get along with both Stevie and George, although I don't know why, for the longest time I thought George hated me. It seems silly when I think back on it. I mean, so many times he would initiate conversations with me, share stuff with me, or ask if I would try or do things with him that he knew other people in the group wouldn't. Or the constant statements like "You know, you're a real bro." I guess at the time I still wasn't used to the way he did certain things? That's about all I can think of really.

I've seen Daymien a few times, and he is all kinds of adorable. There was a day when he kept calling me randomly from Ria's phone and we just kept making noises back and forth at each other until he hung up. That was quite fun.

I have to say, it really does mean the world to me that I'm thought of this way. I love and care about all of you so much. You've all done so much for me, and I hope that I can repay you for all the love, kindness, forgiveness and everything else you have shown me all these years.
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Wow, so I haven't been here in forever. I was hoping to update this on a constant basis and use it as a springboard to get me writing stories again. Guess that didn't exactly work out as planned. I find that I have so many things I want to write about but never do. I really should get on this more often. It seems when I do write things down constantly, I have a better idea of what I should do, look back and reflect on things, relieve some frustration, etc. Not that things ALWAYS go downhill if I don't write, but I feel like it helps a lot. Anyway, on to things!

Work has thankfully gotten better. I've found some people I can talk to, and texting and tweeting always help to pass the time. I still occasionally get frustrated with lazy coworkers or the one overbearing manager, but it's not as bad as before.

I've been having some good times with Gene lately. He came with me to one of the Coney Island Burlesque shows (which was a lot of fun), and we've had a handful of bad movies/video game hangouts. I hadn't seen him much since he started working, and now since I'm working, it's been a bit tough to get anything going. Still, the few hangouts we have had have been fun.

Scott has been busy working on some tattoo ideas I've given him. He's finished up my Horror Martyr one, and it looks pretty bad ass. I have him now working on the Rainbow Fish one for Ria and am going to see if he can come up with a kick ass idea for Diamond Weapon (another awesome late night random twitter war creation).

What else? I actually read a real honest to goodness book with no pictures in it for the first time in...who the hell even knows how long. I always see Ria posting about what she's reading and the constant posts she wrote about this book called Blindness really caught my eye. She let me borrow it and I can honestly say it's one of the best books I have ever read. It took me a while to get used to the author's writing style, but once I did, I only put the book down when I had to start work. The story, characters, descriptions of everything were excellent. You really felt for everyone and all the horrible things they had to go through were heartbreaking to read, yet you always wanted to keep going and see how they got through it. There is a sequel to it and I do want to check it out. But, whatever comes next from the Library of Ria is much appreciated.

I've been practicing driving, and slowly I'm getting better at certain things. My confidence is up and my turns are better, but I still have to try parking. I don't know what happened the other day, but for some reason I couldn't do U turns for shit, and I drifted in and out of being able to do a 3 point turn. I just have to keep at it, because I definitely want to be able to finally head out on my own. Being able to stay out later without having to worry about waiting an hour or more for a late night bus, and being able to drive my friends and girlfriend around are all things I'm looking forward to.

Speaking of my girlfriend, she has me completely hooked on Attack on Titan. I started watching to catch up to where she was, then we decided to watch it together whenever she would come over. Most times this lead to a mini marathon, and both of us were always exasperated when it was over because that meant waiting another week. Being that we are highly impatient people, this was a lot to ask for. What made it even more fun (or dorky, depending on who you ask), was the fact that we got Survey Corps Capes, and we'd wear them while watching. We even one time wore them out the house, and it was awesome.

I truly have not been this obsessed with an anime since Martian Successor Nadesico, and we were both highly upset when the show ended, because it's probably only half (possibly even less) of the manga. Now we wait, since they're releasing a volume a month, but it's only at 7, and according to what we've been told, it goes up to 20. This is also not taking into consideration the other stories they're releasing (Before the Fall and No Regrets). We both were going to wait until the whole series was out before reading it, but I feel that I may crack before that. Hopefully I can find something else to read in the meantime, because I would much rather just sit back and inhale all of AoT in one big ass marathon rather than start up and have to wait for more. That is just too much torture for me to handle.

Halloween is upon us and I've fallen behind terribly on my 31 Days of Halloween movie watching. I'm about 5 movies behind schedule, so I may just try and watch some older and shorter films to help bridge the gap, especially since we made up a movie watching marathon for next month that we've dubbed "Arnold SchwarzNovember." From horror to action, oh yeah!

There are a few other things on my mind, but I think separate entries work better for them, so...yeah.

Grumpy Cat

Jul. 13th, 2013 02:21 pm
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Man, I really hate my fucking job. I was happy to finally have found something, but after a mere 3 weeks, I'm already fed up with it. I can't stand most of my coworkers, the pay sucks, and I can't help but think how stupid it was for me to leave my last job. I really wish I could have gotten it back, and if somehow I were able to, I'd definitely go back to it.

Seriously though, the people I deal with suck. Most of them have accents so thick I don't have a fucking clue what they're saying to me, others don't seem to do a damn thing and get away with it, and one lady doesn't speak but 3 words of English and won't even let me help. How the fuck am I supposed to be comfortable in this type of environment?

All I know is I need to get out of here in a hurry. I really don't see how I could get a worse job than this.
horrormartyr: (Default)
Slowly but surely it seems like things are coming together. While I do wish the whole job situation would move a bit faster, other than that, I have no reason at all to complain.

The wrestling show I went to was a lot of fun. I saw a few people I hadn't seen in a while, and got to see some fun matches. Valdo did well for himself that night and I was very proud. 1 bad bump aside, he was great. He's definitely gotten a lot better and it shows.

Got my fingerprint done the other day, so within 2 weeks I should be getting an airport ID, and I also passed my Food Safety test. I didn't do that great (I got a 78), but fuck it, I passed so now I have that and can put it on my resume. The certificate will take 4-6 weeks to get here they said, but hopefully I can still work before that since I have proof that I did indeed pass it.

Now that all this crap is over, I can have more of a life now. I am so backlogged with video games and movies that it's absolutely ridiculous. Between 400 movies I physically own which have gone unwatched on top of 300+ in my Netflix queue, that's a lot to go through. On the video game side of the spectrum, I have either not finished or even started the following;

Red Dead Redemption
Bloodrayne: Betrayal
Darksiders (which I may or may not finish)
Bioshock Infinite
Farcry 3
Tomb Raider
Injustice: Gods Among Us
Deus Ex: Human Revolution
Castlevania: Lords of Shadow
The Last of Us (doesn't come out til Tuesday, but it'll be added to the pile)

The last game I did finish was Telltale Games The Walking Dead. I wasn't sure how much I would like it, but damn, what a great experience that was. It's point and click, so it's more like an interactive movie than an actual game. The emphasis is on making choices and solving little puzzles, while also occasionally adding in some action.

What I enjoyed was the story and characters. Some people you hate right off the bat, but you see other sides of them based on how you talk and treat them. Someone you thought might be useless turns out to be very helpful, someone you thought you could trust turns out to really be a backstabber and so forth.

The best example is the dynamic between your character Lee, and the little girl he rescues named Clementine. She seems him as a protector, and every time I did something that upset or scared her, I truly felt terrible. Whenever she was in danger, I felt scared for her and made sure to always rescue her in time, and if someone else put her in danger, I always chose the option of yelling at them. Throughout the 10 or so hours I played this, our bond grew strong and it felt great.

The ending...wow. I am not ashamed to admit that it was very sad and it made me cry. I look forward to playing this again and seeing how choosing different answers and actions changes the experience. I can definitely see why this won Game of the Year last year and look forward to Volume 2, which is set to come out later this year.

A few days ago I finally got to see my wonderful girlfriend! It wasn't for very long, but I still had a great time. We had some Taco Bell then spent the rest of the night enjoying each others company in the backseat.

This weekend she will be at Anime Next and I already miss her like crazy. I swear, the 2 of us need to find good jobs and move in together because I honestly can't stand not being around her for longer than a day. Even when we were just friends, we were pretty much attached at the hip, and being officially together has made this bond even stronger. I really do love her so much and can't imagine being without her.

Today was bad movie day with Gene and holy shit, did we ever pick 3 putrid pieces of shit to watch. We started with Rodentz, which was super boring, then switched to American Warships which was almost as boring, then watched ANOTHER horrible piece of crap called Easter Bunny Kill Kill. We ended the night with Stitches, which was a fun killer clown movie.

Tomorrow I'll be meeting 2 of his friends and we're going to check out The Purge. I heard it wasn't all that good, but what the hell, any excuse to go out is good by me. Sunday I'll be seeing Pam and Milton who I haven't hung out with in months.

All in all, life is good.
horrormartyr: (Default)
I hate to write angry sounding entries, but sometimes you just need to get stuff out to help you feel better. This one is more...annoyed than angry. I'll do my best to refrain from using this as a grounds for nothing but complaining as best I can, but hey, some days you just need to rant, right?

So, in a sense, I'm sort of the "weird one" of the family one could say (black sheep seems too strong, it's not like I'm hated or an outcast or anything like that). It's not as though I go out of my way to be different or go against normalcy, it's just what I'm into. I like stuff people think is dumb, terrible, or have just never heard of. I understand people asking about how I got into things, or even how I came across it, but I find it very irritating how some people ask me "Why" as if it's just the worst thing in the world. Why do others want to make it seem as if things I like make me a stupid or bad person?

Examples of said questions:

1. "Why do you listen to that crazy music?"
2. "You still watch wrestling? Grow up, don't you know it's fake?"
3. "How can you watch those terrible/gross movies?"
4. "Why don't you speak Spanish? Aren't you Spanish?"
5. "How come you're always dating white girls?"

You would think after 28 years of life, questions like these wouldn't be asked, and yet, they still are and they annoy me to no end. Why do I have to keep explaining myself, and why do I keep being judged? For what? Are any of my hobbies or interests harming others? Do they interfere with me getting things done in my normal life? No, they don't. So if I must, here are the answers to these questions:

1. I listen to whatever is pleasing to my ears. As long as the music is good and the vocals are tolerable, I'll listen. That simple.

2. I've been watching it since I was 3 years old. Kind of a hard habit to break. It's pretty much just a soap opera for men with more violence. Works for me.

3. I can watch any kind of films, I just happen to like stuff that's either so bad it's good so I can laugh at its ineptitude and make fun of it or stuff that's violent because...I just like it. I like exploring the darker side of things. I find it interesting to see what kinds of insanity people come up with.

4. I didn't speak it at home, most of my friends are White and Asian, and I grew up in Virginia, therefore I had no need for it.

5. It just worked out that way. I've had 7 relationships, and 4 of them just happened to be white (and one half white and half Spanish). It's not like I set out to only go out with a certain type. I would date my current girlfriend no matter what she was, simply because she is a great person.

Sorry for this dumb entry, I just had to get this out of my system.
horrormartyr: (Default)
Stuff, stuff and more stuff. I've been really relaxed the last few days. Hanging out a lot with my wonderful girlfriend (I just love saying that) and the old crew (Valdo, Gene, Eamon, Steve and Rob). Movie watching, eating, cuddling and relaxing. It's been nice to just lay back and be happy.

Yesterday we had a Memorial Day BBQ. Good food and good people. I got to see Daymien and he is just absolutely adorable. I'm not usually one to comment on babies, but he is just a great little boy. Ate a lot and watched X-Men: First Class and Gangster Squad, which was really freaking awesome. So glad I finally got to see that.

I also finally got rid of Metro POS and am back with Verizon (thank God). I haven't even had the phone a whole 2 days and it's already a million times better than my old one. Much faster, better service, everything. I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU AGAIN VERIZON, I PROMISE.

Sunday was one of the best days I've had in forever, and quite possibly the second best day of the year so far. Maria and I spent a majority of the day in Manhattan wandering around due to crappy GPS, but it was so worth it!

We started the day off with Ten Ren Bubble Tea after making our way through the horrendously crowded streets of Chinatown, then got some awesome food from...a place I can't remember the name of. After that, our quest for Doughnut Plant began! We ended up walking in a big ass circle for no reason but holy shit, once I tasted those doughnuts, I knew it was totally worth it.

We ordered 2 dozen, but we ended up getting almost 40 because the girl behind the counter was AMAZING. She was so happy with our big order (and the possibility of closing early) that she gave us a bunch of free mini-doughnuts, which turned out to be the best tasting ones in the bunch. Doughnut Plant, we will meet again soon.

I finally tried out the new Borderlands 2 psycho class and HOLY FUCK IT IS AWESOME. Krieg is a fucking beast. Buzz Axe Rampage is a great action skill, and the Hellborn skill tree kicks ass. Between this and the final DLC level coming out soon, I'm going to get hooked on this game all over again.

I just realized the information is as out of order as a Quentin Tanrantino film. Oh well, whatever. That's what's been happening. Looking forward to what the next few days bring.
horrormartyr: (Default)
I'm usually pretty good mood wise, but today I really lost my temper. I get really annoyed when things that should be simple get convoluted or take forever. This job that I haven't even officially gotten or started yet is getting there.

I had to turn in a form because I wasn't sure of something, and when I called the number to talk to the lady about it, she was quite rude. Whatever, I thought, I'll go there and be out within a few minutes I figured. Of course, my phone being the absolute piece of shit that it is, just up and decides to have zero signal so I can't call the lady when I get there. I walked around for a while, turned on the wi-fi, but still nothing. I turn it off then on and THEN it finally works.

So I meet up with her just to find out that the paper I gave her is more than likely not even necessary, so that's great. She also asked if I brought my social security card, to which I told her no because I figured I wouldn't need it. Luckily my shitty excuse for a temporary license was enough.

I got a date for my SIDA class (airport security thing from what I understand), but the lady said if I didn't have a photo I.D. by Wednesday, I couldn't take it and would have to reschedule. Luckily my real license showed up so I can take it. It's also a good thing I didn't schedule my food safety test for that day like I originally planned or I would have been screwed.

Man, all this freaking nonsense for a lousy cashier job at $8 an hour!? Unbelievable.
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