Oct. 29th, 2013

horrormartyr: (Default)
This is old news, but it's still been on mind and I just want to type it out.

A few weeks ago, my next door neighbor Willie died. I found this out after I came home from work, and I really just couldn't believe what I heard. Just the week before we were talking and joking about trading lunches, and the next minute, he's gone. It truly killed my mood.

The messed up part is that there are so many different stories going around about what happened to him. The first thing I heard was that he was stabbed, but then I also heard another story that he died of a drug overdose, while yet another story says he had a heart attack.

I outright refuse to believe he died of an overdose. This was a guy who was always naturally happy and energetic. At the most, I can see him possibly smoking some weed, but nothing more than that. As for the heart attack, I don't know. I never even knew the man to have so much as a cold, so while that is entirely possible, I'm not sure if that's what it was either.

What sucks the most is that I really believe this didn't have to happen. His mother decided to sell the house without his consent for next to nothing, so he was basically forced out and was in the process of finding somewhere to live. If she didn't do that, I honestly don't think he would have gone out that night and he'd still be here now.

I went with my father and grandmother to the wake, and we only stayed for a few minutes. It was just too depressing to be there and see him like that. It honestly looked like he was just sleeping, like he'd get up at any moment and ask why everyone was so sad.

It's been about 3 weeks or so since this happened, and yet I still can't believe it. I'm so used to seeing him when I come home from work and spending a half hour or more on the front steps just talking about whatever and having a good laugh. He was a very fun, caring person who always had a smile on his face. Some days I come home and just look to next door, expecting him to be there even though I know he's gone.

Will, I'm going to miss you. I hope you're at peace and I hope to see you again one day. Rest in peace my friend.
horrormartyr: (Default)
One thing (of many) that people never seem to understand is my relationship with my family. I know a lot of people are close and talk often, do the gatherings and whatnot, but that's never been my thing. In all honesty, I have relatives all over the place, most of whom I wouldn't know from a hole in the wall. I don't know their faces, let alone their names or even their relation to me. Truth be told, this doesn't bother me in the slightest.

I used to be a lot closer to my sister (I even lived with her for a few months), but now, we barely even speak. I try to text her ever now and then, but I rarely ever get a response, and the same seems to go for phone calls. If she does answer, I end up getting passed over to Jake, or they kinda talk over each other so the conversation gets really distracted and awkward. She'll call my Dad though, and he's always asking if I've spoken with her. The truth is, of everyone in the family, she's the one I WOULD want to talk to, but it seems like unless I'm asking her a question about something I want to get her, I get nothing. This is honestly the only relationship that bothers me.

My Mom...I don't even know anymore. I haven't spoken with her in about 3 months because the last time we saw each other, it led to a big fight. In general, we only spoke maybe once every month and half, not that I had a problem with her, but for me, if nothing is new and I have nothing to really say, I don't call. That's just the way I am and she doesn't understand that no matter how many times I explain it.

The problem started when she came over here to visit. I understand there was a death in the family, but the entire time we were together that first day, she was on the phone talking to people about what happened. I mean, I took the day off from work to be ignored the entire time? Really? Not to mention when she wasn't on the phone, all she did was complain about everything.

I didn't even want to go out a second time, but I decided to give it another shot since she was going back in another 2 days. Once again, problems arise. First off, she told me to get off somewhere, which I did, then she told me I was at the wrong spot. Okay, fine. Annoying, but I can deal. Then after that, she tells me she has some paperwork to do. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! You think I want to spend another day off waiting for you to do paperwork while I sit in the car with some guy I don't know?

I started texting Ria during this time and even my Mom's friend was like "What the hell are you doing sitting in this car on your day off? Just go and hang out with your girlfriend." So you know what? That's exactly what I did. A while later my Mom called me and asked where I was and why I left. I explained to her why I left and why I was upset, yet she didn't seem to think I made a valid point. She asked me to get off the train and come back, but I told her no way, I was already gone and in a bad mood, so any time we had together would just be me completely miserable and I didn't want any part of that. Since that day, we haven't spoken.

I'm sure I'll call her eventually, but I mean, come on. I can't believe after what I told her, she still insisted that I was wrong in being upset. I'm certain that damn near anybody else who was in my position would have reacted the same way. Oh well, what can you do? Just gotta give it some time.
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X rated entry. You have been warned.
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